Dear Betsy,
I think my wife and I need counseling but she feels I am the one with the problems. How can I approach her about us both needing to go talk to someone?

Signed, Messed Up
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Dear MU,
Although you may be as irritating as a horsefly on a hot day, my guess is that your annoying behaviors are even worse because of your wife's reactions to them.  If she wants to see you fixed, it would help you both if she got curious about how she might be contributing to them.

For example, did you suddenly get annoying, or is it possible you've always had these habits, but they've gotten worse over time in reaction to your wife's harsh criticism or disdain?  My advice is to tell your wife that you're willing to change your annoying behaviors, but that it would help you a lot if she would be willing to look at the ways she may be contributing to them.  Remember: It takes two to tango.  So whether she likes it or not, as long as you two are dance partners, your problems are going to be shared problems.  Why not share in solutions to improving the dance?   

Good Luck, Betsy